Letters to Mom

Well, had the colon exam and it came back clear with some weakness in some muscles that might explain some of the health stuff but not to the level I'm experiencing.  Okay, it's mental combined with physical?  Joy. Three years ago my heart checked out fine, my colon is great, my back isn't declining as fast as I feared, my blood work looks good except for one liver panel which I'm working on.  I've gone from a qt of caffeine a day to one cup of tea in the morning and an occasional soda.  Next to conquer is the sugar. Tired after yard work this mornign but feeling good about what got accomplished, especially Jackie's input.  The yard looks like we might actually live here. LOL Tomorrow I'm scheduled for a pelvic exam - then to request a mammogram (again). Then the only thing not checked out totally would be my stomach. Doc Kelly thinks it's time for me to be cut loose from the PTSD trauma counseling.  That was a surprise and a bit of a panic.  I...

Got through my birthday and the colon exam.  I've been really depressed for a couple of weeks and can't seem to totally snap out of it.  It was uncomfortable preparing for the colon exam, of course.  The test itself was painful - my IV came out of my hand and they couldn't give me more sedative.  We did get the test done and the doctor said everything looks fantastic - I was very clean (yay. drinking all that medicine worked), no signs of cancer, no polyops, and no scarring.  I do have weakened splintcer muscles, however.  I suppose I get to learn how to do kegels for the tail end.  Now to schedule a breast exam and pelvic and I'll be set - and another round of blood work (see how I'm doing since I've almost eliminated caffeine and have been working to cleanse the liver). Jackie has been helping out more and I'm trying to keep up but it's a task right now. Right now = ugh