Reflections
Missing California, family and friends. I miss my Mama and Nyx.
I'm on speech recognition software today because I strained those arm muscles that just won't heal. Either lifting a bag of books, groceries or hammering too much yesterday.
I want stars on my ceiling in glow-in-the-dark paint but I don't want a random pattern. So, I looked up constellations, printed them off, projected them onto poster boards (5 of them) and got a leather punch set and set about hammering holes out of the poster boards with a hammer. I'll have to whack the punches through tin foil a few times to sharpen them back up once I'm done with the last board. I've found that the hammering isn't good for the arm muscles right now. Ugh
I'll tack the boards to the ceiling and dab the glow pain over the holes, viola - I'll have constellations and random stars on my ceiling that glow once the light is out but are invisible during the day.
I used to have 3 large roles with the holes prepunched that accurately stenciled the northern sky in winter onto my ceiling but I'm not sure where they are so I've worked up my own stencils. I'm thinking of posting the steps onto Instructables, it would be my first posting there. Maybe others would like to figure out making stencils for glow in the dark stuff in their rooms.
Going to try and get back into my writing - I haven't done much since the arm went down during the November Writing challenge. I've been drawing and arranging the old RPG games - pulling together all the posts I can find (entire years are missing, damnit - computer hard drive crashes), eliminating duplicates and getting them in order.
Skimming through I've found conversations that took place during the RPG of course and, looking back, I wonder if Carolee ever really recognized that she became abusive and manipulative like her abuser? And now she's studying to become a counselor - HaShem help anyone there!
So missing Jerry and Lynn and Susie. I wish we had been closer when we lost Mom.
Nick is doing really well with his exercise dedication and it's paying off. The extra testing he's preparing for isn't easy but he is doing amazing at it. He's gone from 270 lbs to 195 and from being sluggish and not really active to testing for elite groups in the Navy in addition to achieving the high scores in computer stuff, higher than his brother.
Not bad, eh, Mom? All that in less than six months. While holding down a part time job with INSANE hours during the Christmas season to working a full time job with night time hours.
The tension in the family is still there because of the situation with Nick. We believe that Chris exaggerated David and Serena's draconian boundaries that Nick would live under when he lost his apprenticeship as an electrician in hopes that Nick would stay in San Diego and help with the rent on Chris and Alex' new place. The boundaries were still going to be ridiculous and I truly believe that Nick made the right choice in coming out here and we made the right choice in insisting he give the offer of an open door some serious thought.
Just looking at what the kid is accomplishing proves that. He has friends, a full time job and has been recognized and quickly promoted in both jobs (employee of the week 4 weeks in a row, for example). His weight loss, his exercise dedication and the studying for the testing to enlist in the Navy.
He still refuses to talk to his father and I'm somewhat neutral on that. I do strongly encourage him to keep talking or have contact with his mom. They don't seem to realize he's 23 and a man now. He's having to learn things he should have learned in his teen years or at least when he hit 18 but didn't - how to budget, basic cooking and cleaning skills, how to do shopping (figuring out actual prices per unit, comparisons, etc), learning that just because you want or think you need something doesn't mean the money is always there and how to drive a stick shift. LOL Serious life stuff he was never taught.
David and Serena have told him that "they did the best they could and made mistakes." They view that as asking for forgiveness. That's not asking for forgiveness outright and Nick won't accept the excuse. They need to say "I'm sorry, please forgive us. Let's find a way to interact as adults now, please." The excuse and throwing it back on Nick by insisting he has to forgive them because he's a Christian isn't working on him.
Well, enough of this, Ma Need to focus on writing or something. I can't do any housework or finish my stencils with the arm hurting so bad.
I miss you. Thank you for nudging Fuzz Bot my way after we lost you and hope Nyx is snuggled with you in one of her rare snuggling moods. I can't even imagine the joy at seeing all the babies we've lost over the years or seeing you and Grandma again, Mom.
Love you
I'm on speech recognition software today because I strained those arm muscles that just won't heal. Either lifting a bag of books, groceries or hammering too much yesterday.
I want stars on my ceiling in glow-in-the-dark paint but I don't want a random pattern. So, I looked up constellations, printed them off, projected them onto poster boards (5 of them) and got a leather punch set and set about hammering holes out of the poster boards with a hammer. I'll have to whack the punches through tin foil a few times to sharpen them back up once I'm done with the last board. I've found that the hammering isn't good for the arm muscles right now. Ugh
I'll tack the boards to the ceiling and dab the glow pain over the holes, viola - I'll have constellations and random stars on my ceiling that glow once the light is out but are invisible during the day.
I used to have 3 large roles with the holes prepunched that accurately stenciled the northern sky in winter onto my ceiling but I'm not sure where they are so I've worked up my own stencils. I'm thinking of posting the steps onto Instructables, it would be my first posting there. Maybe others would like to figure out making stencils for glow in the dark stuff in their rooms.
Going to try and get back into my writing - I haven't done much since the arm went down during the November Writing challenge. I've been drawing and arranging the old RPG games - pulling together all the posts I can find (entire years are missing, damnit - computer hard drive crashes), eliminating duplicates and getting them in order.
Skimming through I've found conversations that took place during the RPG of course and, looking back, I wonder if Carolee ever really recognized that she became abusive and manipulative like her abuser? And now she's studying to become a counselor - HaShem help anyone there!
So missing Jerry and Lynn and Susie. I wish we had been closer when we lost Mom.
Nick is doing really well with his exercise dedication and it's paying off. The extra testing he's preparing for isn't easy but he is doing amazing at it. He's gone from 270 lbs to 195 and from being sluggish and not really active to testing for elite groups in the Navy in addition to achieving the high scores in computer stuff, higher than his brother.
Not bad, eh, Mom? All that in less than six months. While holding down a part time job with INSANE hours during the Christmas season to working a full time job with night time hours.
The tension in the family is still there because of the situation with Nick. We believe that Chris exaggerated David and Serena's draconian boundaries that Nick would live under when he lost his apprenticeship as an electrician in hopes that Nick would stay in San Diego and help with the rent on Chris and Alex' new place. The boundaries were still going to be ridiculous and I truly believe that Nick made the right choice in coming out here and we made the right choice in insisting he give the offer of an open door some serious thought.
Just looking at what the kid is accomplishing proves that. He has friends, a full time job and has been recognized and quickly promoted in both jobs (employee of the week 4 weeks in a row, for example). His weight loss, his exercise dedication and the studying for the testing to enlist in the Navy.
He still refuses to talk to his father and I'm somewhat neutral on that. I do strongly encourage him to keep talking or have contact with his mom. They don't seem to realize he's 23 and a man now. He's having to learn things he should have learned in his teen years or at least when he hit 18 but didn't - how to budget, basic cooking and cleaning skills, how to do shopping (figuring out actual prices per unit, comparisons, etc), learning that just because you want or think you need something doesn't mean the money is always there and how to drive a stick shift. LOL Serious life stuff he was never taught.
David and Serena have told him that "they did the best they could and made mistakes." They view that as asking for forgiveness. That's not asking for forgiveness outright and Nick won't accept the excuse. They need to say "I'm sorry, please forgive us. Let's find a way to interact as adults now, please." The excuse and throwing it back on Nick by insisting he has to forgive them because he's a Christian isn't working on him.
Well, enough of this, Ma Need to focus on writing or something. I can't do any housework or finish my stencils with the arm hurting so bad.
I miss you. Thank you for nudging Fuzz Bot my way after we lost you and hope Nyx is snuggled with you in one of her rare snuggling moods. I can't even imagine the joy at seeing all the babies we've lost over the years or seeing you and Grandma again, Mom.
Love you
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