Letters to Mom

we weed whacked the rain trough, weed whacked the garden and around the red bud, mowed, placed a paver, hung another shelf in the screened in porch, painted a tire and blew debris into the wooded area and we're done. So much more to do on a brighter note: CATS! our grand old man Deacon stretched out in a planter and I wonder why things won't grow! Our poly-toed kitty, Gypsy  Alyssa - one of the twins another of Deacon  Evie, voicing a protest abut me taking a photo Your beautiful Nikki, Ma - better known as Fuzzbot

Missing both our Moms Marie Melendez left us on 03/01/2013

Well, had the colon exam and it came back clear with some weakness in some muscles that might explain some of the health stuff but not to the level I'm experiencing.  Okay, it's mental combined with physical?  Joy. Three years ago my heart checked out fine, my colon is great, my back isn't declining as fast as I feared, my blood work looks good except for one liver panel which I'm working on.  I've gone from a qt of caffeine a day to one cup of tea in the morning and an occasional soda.  Next to conquer is the sugar. Tired after yard work this mornign but feeling good about what got accomplished, especially Jackie's input.  The yard looks like we might actually live here. LOL Tomorrow I'm scheduled for a pelvic exam - then to request a mammogram (again). Then the only thing not checked out totally would be my stomach. Doc Kelly thinks it's time for me to be cut loose from the PTSD trauma counseling.  That was a surprise and a bit of a panic.  I...

Got through my birthday and the colon exam.  I've been really depressed for a couple of weeks and can't seem to totally snap out of it.  It was uncomfortable preparing for the colon exam, of course.  The test itself was painful - my IV came out of my hand and they couldn't give me more sedative.  We did get the test done and the doctor said everything looks fantastic - I was very clean (yay. drinking all that medicine worked), no signs of cancer, no polyops, and no scarring.  I do have weakened splintcer muscles, however.  I suppose I get to learn how to do kegels for the tail end.  Now to schedule a breast exam and pelvic and I'll be set - and another round of blood work (see how I'm doing since I've almost eliminated caffeine and have been working to cleanse the liver). Jackie has been helping out more and I'm trying to keep up but it's a task right now. Right now = ugh

Haven't written much here lately, Mom. I've been really down. It feels like I've taken a few steps backwards.  I don't know if it's because of all the deaths lately in the music world or what - I mean David Bowie is so hard to take and then Glenn Frey - damn! I can't believe how fast Lemmy went.  Had a birthday, a day later he's told he had cancer and maybe 2 months, 2 days later and he was gone.  For a couple of days there it seemed like musicians were dying 2 or 3 a day/night.  Go figure, me a horror fan to the nth and death brings me down.  I can't shake watching you take your last breath.  I was already reeling at the speed in which you left, Mom.  I miss you, Mama.  I try to take in all the positive reassurances: They haven't really left us, they're just in a different form...... your loved ones reach out and touch you in dreams and sometimes in waking life.... Ugh Strained my shoulder and I've had to baby it for a couple of days...

In addition to my Christopher Lee, Peter Cushing and Alice Cooper autographs I now have Jamie Lee Curtis and Richard Lynch? Who, you say?  Richard Lynch was a character actor that was in just about every tv series you could think of and many, many movies.  He played a fantastic villain.