musings
There are times when it feels like it'll ever get easier, Mom. I miss you every day, many times a day. I truly wish you were here to see the house. A new roof, new gutters, new appliances, the girls fixed and dependable transportation.
I've been trying to rest for the last week. I just haven't learned my limitations with the chronic pain, Mom. Steph pointed it out. I try not to think about what used to be: I worked a full time job, took classes and volunteered, ran the group and helped around the house. Now I can't do the dishes, laundry and sweeping and mopping all in one day. A day of running errands with more than 3 stops and I'm exhausted and I'm hurting badly the next day.
I get to feeling better and have a tendency to push past those limits again. So, I've been trying to rest - I've been noticing things that let me know that I've been overly tired. Now the weather has turned warm and I'm anxious to get some things done around the house. There's brush to clear from under the power lines, weeding to do around the crete myrtle, major cleaning in the family room, taking things to charity, more painting in the basement and garage and cleaning the craft room - your room. Is it time to start putting away some of the turtles and start turning that room into a guest room/craft room? I think so but every time I go in there I expect to find you sleeping or reading in bed.
My own room is finally showing progress. Taking numerous breaks while painting and stenciling doubled the time it normally would have taken. Stopping work this last week to rest extended that even further. I finally finished the wall stenciling today. I have some areas that I need to touch up where the stencil slipped or the paint was too thin but the main work is done. Next is painting the closet doors but first rehanging the shelves and putting my figures back up on the one wall.
I've been trying a couple new recipes. A couple didn't turn out too well but the chicken stroganoff I did turned out excellent. So much to share, Mom.
We've been invited to Pesach dinner in 2 weeks. My hermit side hesitates but I know I need to get out and meet people. My counselors think I've been doing some good work. I've gotten back some memories that I thought I never would. Memories of horrific stuff, Mom, but they don't cripple me like they might have before.
Miss you, Mama.
I've been trying to rest for the last week. I just haven't learned my limitations with the chronic pain, Mom. Steph pointed it out. I try not to think about what used to be: I worked a full time job, took classes and volunteered, ran the group and helped around the house. Now I can't do the dishes, laundry and sweeping and mopping all in one day. A day of running errands with more than 3 stops and I'm exhausted and I'm hurting badly the next day.
I get to feeling better and have a tendency to push past those limits again. So, I've been trying to rest - I've been noticing things that let me know that I've been overly tired. Now the weather has turned warm and I'm anxious to get some things done around the house. There's brush to clear from under the power lines, weeding to do around the crete myrtle, major cleaning in the family room, taking things to charity, more painting in the basement and garage and cleaning the craft room - your room. Is it time to start putting away some of the turtles and start turning that room into a guest room/craft room? I think so but every time I go in there I expect to find you sleeping or reading in bed.
My own room is finally showing progress. Taking numerous breaks while painting and stenciling doubled the time it normally would have taken. Stopping work this last week to rest extended that even further. I finally finished the wall stenciling today. I have some areas that I need to touch up where the stencil slipped or the paint was too thin but the main work is done. Next is painting the closet doors but first rehanging the shelves and putting my figures back up on the one wall.
I've been trying a couple new recipes. A couple didn't turn out too well but the chicken stroganoff I did turned out excellent. So much to share, Mom.
We've been invited to Pesach dinner in 2 weeks. My hermit side hesitates but I know I need to get out and meet people. My counselors think I've been doing some good work. I've gotten back some memories that I thought I never would. Memories of horrific stuff, Mom, but they don't cripple me like they might have before.
Miss you, Mama.
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