Letters to Mom

One interesting thing around here, Mom, is the rats. Usually that's not a sentence taken in a good context but these guys are cute and aren't running around all up in our groceries. The babies are getting bigger and developing nicely.  They've started eating the rat food we got the other day in addition to the kitten milk we've been giving them every four hours.  We still haven't decided what we'll do with them once they're weened off the milk.

Hey, Mama; Lynn's birthday was this week and she called yesterday.  I can't even tell you how much I miss her and Jerry.  She's reading a book written by a man they met from the other side of the line in WWII and wanted so much to share it with you and is grieving because she can't. I understand that.  Every day there's something that hits me that I'd like to share with you: experiences, movies, books, videos, experiences with the animals, seeing new things or just seeing things in a changing season = all of it makes me miss you. The trees and plants are blooming and it'll be time to start mowing the lawn again and doing more yard work. Spring cleaning madness is trying to hit but the herniated muscles and all around exhaustion keep holding me back.  Try and do a little at a time, I guess.  I've asked Jackie to lend more of a hand around the place.  I know she's been hurting very badly and not feeling good but the housework is getting ahead o

Like I said last night, I've painted the north and west walls a claret red - a deep, deep red with a hint of purple.  The other brick-red like colors I was looking at just turned into a brown mud under dim or little light, which is what my room is at night once I move from the desktop computer to the laptop in bed. here's the color: Neither of these are precisely accurate for some weird reason.  Picture something between the two (I'll post actual pictures in a day or two) the trim around the window, around the door and around the two walls and closet is a deep black the stencil is in Americana acrylic paint: zinc http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007P56FW0/ref=wl_it_dp_o_pd_S_ttl?_encoding=UTF8&colid=34LR0UWU1INK3&coliid=ITFW6V2E241AE the stencil pattern is "iron lattice" http://shop.hobbylobby.com/products/iron-lattice-wall-and-floor-stencil-576785/ the sage green of the east and south wall work really well with the claret color and the she

missing you, Mom. Every single day.  We've got a new roof, new gutters, new washer, dryer, fridge, car, tv and wishing you were here to share in it.  We made it through a rough year and are looking forward to spring but I keep looking around and wishing you could see this. The trees are starting to bloom. My counselor thinks I've done some really great work and have made some really good insights and inroads.  She says my desire to do some self exploration is normal. we tend to either stop growing emotionally and/or mentally when hit with major crisis points and start up again later or skip some steps.  When you skip steps its not surprising when you have to back track and hit those steps. So maybe I am around 19-20s in some ways.  After the Corps we were just trying to survive on very little money, with PTSD and beginning alcoholism and self-abusive behavior. Our choices weren't too brilliant then either.  I knew when we moved in together to care for each other I w