Letters to Mom

what's on my mind? RANT ahead Depressed. MRI shows disintegration of the disks, which I expected. It also shows I have arthritis in the spine which shouldn't' be surprising but I hadn't thought about it.  some health issues I have I believe is directly related to the disks pressing on the nerves. PA wanted to send me to a different clinic and not Ortho. That doesn't make sense. My spine is worse, refer me to Ortho. I was having trouble with my neck and shoulder for years, now the pinky finger and left side of the hand is numb. "No, it's not related to my fall, the fall aggravated it. It was already there," I said. "Well, you're on codeine and flexerill and you can't take NSAIDS drugs, that's the best we can do." "What about PT? Cortizone shot, aqua therapy?" I ask :: blank look :: "Let's let the neck and shoulder heal first." "What advice do I get for what the limitations are for the shoulder?" I

Hey Ma; going through the cds again to ensure we've got all the music off the cds we'd like to have.  Between Uncle George's stuff, yours and ours - there's a lot of cds to go through. My shoulder hurts a little, thankfully the ankle only throbs in the early evening. Missing you, Mom. I think there's the beginning of shift - I'm not sure I look over at the bed in the guest room and expect to find you there and it's feeling like this is our place, these are our things and we don't need to hold onto some things or keep the house a certain way.  You're not here, Mom, we need to take over the house. It is so overwhelming at times, the grief feels impossible to get through.  Love you, Mom

Hurts bad, Ma.  Deacon is showing his age. Seems like it happened overnight.  We're giving him kitten milk to make sure he gets enough nutrients - he's not eating any dry food. We know his teeth aren't giving him pain except when he tries to eat dry food. It was really hard to lose Darcy. I'm just afraid we might lose him this summer. Oy humbug.