Letters to Mom

Made it through the exam today, Mom.  I didn't even need sedating, a good thing.  My entire body is all upset, however. It is definitely not liking food. got very little sleep last night so we're both very tired.

Hey Ma; Finally got around to removing you off my bank account.  We still haven't heard from SSI about repaying December's check that you received. Well, I have a joyous day planned: preparing for the colon exam tomorrow.  I couldn't write last night because of threatening panic attacks.  I hate going to the VA, I hate appointments and I especially hate this.  With my history of sexual abuse, this is one exam that will definitely be unpleasant.  So today I get to try and drink all this gunk they sent me (which they still haven't called to tell me how to prep for the exam - I had to hit the internet). In other words - oy humbug.

Hey Ma; I signed onto a writing month with National November Writing Month website. They host a "summer camp" - like November, the goal is to write as much as possible within a month.  I've signed up before but never got anywhere.  This year, since I planned on rewriting one of my original novels, I decided to go for it and I'm actually getting pages done.  So far, even with the slight increase in the anti-depressant meds I'm writing.  Not sure if it's good writing yet, first draft stuff, but I am keeping at it. VA I'm scheduled for a colonscopy Friday and I tried to find out information to prep for the test. I've got a bunch of liquid stuff to drink the day before but needed answers to whether I take my meds the night before and the morning of the test, do I change to just clear soup the day before? Stuff like that. I called the Telephone Advice nurse at the VA and told I needed to talk to them at the GI clinic.  Okay. Transferred.  Explained m...

I did some running around today, Mom. For some reason my check was held on "pending" for two days.  It should have been clear midnight into the 3rd but wasn't released until LATE yesterday.  WTH? Jackie wasn't up to errands so I go to go in search of a new coffee maker for her and cat food.  Once again Big Lots was out of puppy pads. That's the third month in a row.  We just hope Fred's has a large bag at the reduced price.   I seem to be having trouble accepting that you're gone, Mom.  I couldn't have stood there watching you take your last breath. How does that happen? It was surreal.  You're not here to help make decisions about the house, the bills, to see things as they get ready for spring.  To encourage me through this stomach stuff. Damnit

Well, Ma, you'd think it was spring around here. It's 67F here today and it feels good.  Problem is that by Thursday it'll be 52F and raining. Argh! We've got some things for sale on a website so we have crossed fingers.  Jackie is working on the tablecloth that you started and she finished the tree embroidery you both had started.  I'm working on the 3rd bluebird panel. My stomach is still upset most of the time Still can't believe you aren't here, Mom.

http://www.zibbet.com/kathyslegacy A couple of items up for sale. More will be added tomorrow

Hey Ma, we'd been thinking about Susie lately and she called tonight. She's missing you a lot and wanted to check up on us.  I ended up talking to her for 30 minutes. That must be a record for me! We got out for a bit today - the sunshine felt good. Now if this stupid cold would leave me alone.... Missing you, Ma