Day 26 - Disbelief
Ever since you got sick and went into the hospital the first time we've had a sense of disbelief, Ma. We still can't believe this has happened. Jackie says that she can't wrap her mind around it at all. How could this happen so quick? You'd expect quick with a car wreck or heart attack or something but cancer? I know Grandma Jones went quickly but you didn't have bone cancer.
How is it possible that I watched you stop breathing? You finally looked peaceful, Ma, but it was so surreal. There was no more pain in your face that you had before, even when sleeping.
You knew something was wrong, we've figured that out. Wasn't there more you wanted to say to us? I know we had some coherent sentences before the 2nd time you went back to the hospital but come on! There's so many hints, pulling everything but your ID and med cards out of your wallet, going through old pictures in your room, making Chris promise to look after us - Just a few sentences, Mom. Hell, why didn't you even tell us to look out after SuSu? That would have been expected, you know? What things of yours would you want to go to whom? I had to try and get the location of the file box key out of you when you started losing coherent connections. Thankfully I translated "in the middle of breakfast in green" to the old green dresser (that hasn't been green for decades) and the middle drawer. I found the key ring (with another turtle on it).
Mama
I want my mama back. You couldn't have left like this.
How is it possible that I watched you stop breathing? You finally looked peaceful, Ma, but it was so surreal. There was no more pain in your face that you had before, even when sleeping.
You knew something was wrong, we've figured that out. Wasn't there more you wanted to say to us? I know we had some coherent sentences before the 2nd time you went back to the hospital but come on! There's so many hints, pulling everything but your ID and med cards out of your wallet, going through old pictures in your room, making Chris promise to look after us - Just a few sentences, Mom. Hell, why didn't you even tell us to look out after SuSu? That would have been expected, you know? What things of yours would you want to go to whom? I had to try and get the location of the file box key out of you when you started losing coherent connections. Thankfully I translated "in the middle of breakfast in green" to the old green dresser (that hasn't been green for decades) and the middle drawer. I found the key ring (with another turtle on it).
Mama
I want my mama back. You couldn't have left like this.
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